stupid firewall…don’t mind for not wanting others to chat but not to let others be able to register in what so ever significant reasons to pass through username is also being cut off..fuck it. hey this is my first word up, and im all fill up with anger.i should be more competent with this.well i dont know how long will this blog will refine with me, i had a few before and there and then i feel like i don’t need to blog anymore.then for some other reason now im starting a new 1 how fickle minded a person can be. i just want to find some excitement in me.i feel so down and lost, and full of sadness. instead of feeling happy since within just a few days ahead im goin back to my hometown. i can’t assure whats bothering my head and feelings. it’s as though fluctuating with solemnise.i need a life..i truly need a life of my own.for instance to be able to have a home of my own where im able to do things that i want. i want to have a place of my own. a place where i can feel secure and be filled with love arounds me. i just can’t bare within my whole entire sadness feelings.there are so many things that i want for my life.but why can’t i have it?these questions will keep arising till the day i get the life of my life. i love to travel, i love shopping, i love having my love of life living with me, i love shooting pictures.i have always imagine the kind of living that i want for my life to be. will i ever be able to concede the such living?how can anywbody help me out?i guess not aye?only me and myself that be able to converse such life.i will someday. i will do the best of my life.this little things of such phenominal can really drag the feeling out of the reality world.

circa 1:06pm

i have another story of life to share. i love arts.very much indeed.one used to ask me to take up photography and become a photgrapher and have it for my carrier. but i told him back too that such occupation can’t make a living life. for a second now, im thinking if i ever take up the challenge, just stream away with what this friend of mine had said what would ive become?would i be enjoying my life at least, a little less solemnise on my feelings of side. i can barely imagine now, im able to travel, and capture all the wonderufl moments of my life time around the world.i can assure you that i’ll be the most happiest girl on earth. and incline to that i’m able to sell my drawings and show the world of what i have and be able to share my experience and captured. ahhh…i’m feeling the bliss of that moment of my dreamy landing dreamland. wonderful aye?well those are partly the things that i feel i’m not able to reach my hands out for it yet. when there are so many kinds of desire, which practically making it hard for me to plan out which and which should come first. hmm…a second ago im talking of planning that disrupt my dream, on second thoughts now, im thinking of displaying what are my wish lists.would that be so typical or has been so cliche?typical would be my pick.well nevertheless people would be saying it is cliche, hell with it…ehehehe…let me have the list when i’m in the mood to list them in…ahahaha..the mood that scare me a little. lets hope that then mood is still on not till i wash my hands off the blog okay…